Insurmountable Joy

The amount if joy you can uncover when you learn to love yourself...
 
I have been so afraid to love myself the last 8 years.  My body has changed so much, both emotionally and physically.
I have have carried 7 children and birthed 3. My heart has cried and my body has worn the effect. My sorrow has been close for years.

 But I've learned how to embrace who I am, or am learning. I am different than the child I was. I'm different than the young woman I thought I would be. I have learned that loss and heartbreak can either tear you apart and destroy, or it can build the most beautiful version of yourself.

My body is beautiful. Every scar, every stretch mark, every mark it has born is important. It tells my story. It tells the story of every tear I cried of joy and  of sorrow. It tells the story of fear and pain. It tells how I grew from a girl to a woman. It tells how I learned how to say no, and how I learned how to take control.

It tells how life can change on a dime. How people can make choices that alter your views on life and how you were raised. Nothing is definitive. Nothing is permanent. Life isn't perfect. God's perfect plan for life doesn't always happen due to human interference.

Life and experiences change you. You learn forgiveness for yourself that you never thought was possible. You will learn to embrace yourself and what you become. You can learn that you are capable of handling anything that is thrown at you. Stumbling is certain; crying is absolutely certain. But you make it. You will learn that you were able to fulfill yourself more than you ever thought possible. You will learn how to love yourself more than you ever thought capable.

Through the process of bearing children and and going through divorce I learned that I am stronger than I ever thought I would ever be in my life. I have learned that I have more love to hold my heart and to give than I ever thought was possible.

I have learned that when love is given in pure and true circumstance that it blooms and grows beyond comprehension. You develop more than you ever thought possible. You consider more then yourself. You give more of yourself. You grow more than you ever thought possible. And you search for ways to expand. You Embrace who you have become.

Whether it be a stretched and worn body. I will never be absolutely perfect perfect. I will be what I need to be. I have grown  more than I ever imagined. I am not perfect. I will grow with with each learning session, and will learn how to embrace who I have become. I will still grow and experience Love, Light and Joy, and I will continue to do so.

 I. Am. Beautiful.

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