This Too Shall Pass

I hate change.
A lot.
This should be funny given that I have gone though so many stages of change in the short 31 years I have called my life. But it isn't. (As I wipe away tears while laughing).

I really like consistency and dependability. I like the feeling of being so sure and confident in what you are doing that there is no moment of hesitation. 
But, HELLO WORLD! Change is inevitable. 
Dependability isn't always probable, and confidence? Isn't that where you say "Hell Yeah!" to new opportunities even though you are so nervous, BECAUSE you believe in yourself and what you can do? Right?

No matter whether blind sided by the unexpected, or openly embraced change has always been a very difficult thing for me.

The past few months have been a strange dream. Where I feel separated from my body, watching as things happen around me. I have no say in what happens. No choice in how life flows. 

It has been a struggle to forgive myself for the panic my body and mind undergone from the massive life shifts that have happened in the past 6 months. I hold so much inside until it overflows. I need to consistently remind myself that not only do I need to have grace for others, but I need to give it to myself.

Because grace in the face of change is probably one of biggest challenges in life. Change will never be easy. It will always be a struggle. I am proud of every thing that I have overcome. Every hurdle that I have had to jump to get where I am. I will constantly feel like I am drowning; and that is okay. It is alright to fall apart and to cry, to struggle, as long as I remember that this too shall pass. Right?



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